The GLOMM - Part Two

I've heard your clamoring and I've created some GLOMM banners of various sizes for you to put on your social media and your business website (you'll probably want to put the logo on your business cards and other promotional material too). Please only do so if you adhere to the Code of Ethics as described at the bottom of this page. 

The first is simple and soon to be classic. I suspect there will come a time when, if this logo isn't on someone's site, you will hear a lot of, "Oohhhhhh... was this guy kicked out of the Global League of Magicians & Mentalists? Uhh.... yeah... thanks but no thanks, pal."

The second implies a little more as you label yourself a "member in good standing." Those in the know will say, "Ah, I understand what that means. We can have him around the kids. It's okay."

And finally, the third banner really spells it out for people.

Also, the first handful of membership kits were sold yesterday. I applaud the bold few who picked one up. You are truly on the vanguard of a new era in magic. Those will go out Thursday. (With the exception of my 3XL brother. Your shirts are being printed as part of a new run which should hopefully be completed next week.) These aren't some iron-on transfer bullshit shirts. They're screen-printed by hand, color by color, at this cool little t-shirt company run out of a small, old brick factory building in upstate NY. And I didn't get a ton of any one size initially (or any 3XL or 4XL) so there may be short delays to fill an order if/when a size runs out.

The GLOMM - Part One

Pre-History of The GLOMM

I first mentioned the GLOMM back in December, I think, and today I can finally explain it.

There are two things that led to the GLOMM and they both stem from my decision last October to offer a limited edition book for sale, the proceeds of which I would use to pay the people who assist with the site and then "buy my time" to work on the site as well.

The first was that many of the people who wrote me back in October (and since) expressed a sentiment along these lines: "I'm donating because the stuff you're writing about really resonates with me in a way most other magic writing doesn't." (Actually, they put it in much more heartfelt terms than that. And I was going to quote some of those emails here. But they're too nice and overly-complimentary and it feels weird to post them publicly.)

I felt honored -- actually, "honored" makes it sound corny and insincere -- but it felt cool to be presenting some ideas about magic that were resonating with people all over the world. But not widely resonating. I liked that it was a small, passionate community rather than a large detached one. And I wanted to create a kind of faux organization for people who are into this site.

At the same time I was bummed about the idea of releasing an expensive magic book and then having bootleg copies floating around. As I've mentioned before, I wasn't bummed for my sake. I would have very few to sell after publication regardless. But I had been in that position where I'd purchased a pricey magic book and then some dude tells me he found a pdf copy online and it kind of sucks. I'm protective of the people in my life who have been good to me and so, if possible, I wanted to protect the investment of the people who were good to this site. 

So I gave it some thought. The first thing I did was come up with a way of individuating each copy of the book. Now, if a copy of the book showed up somewhere, I would at least know who made the copy and was distributing it. But what action could I take? I guess I could ask Greg Wilson if his dojo was free for me to go at it with the culprit, but I wanted something longer lasting than that. I could, of course, talk shit about them relentlessly on this site, and I'm sure I will if it happens, but that wasn't enough. 

So then I got back to thinking about the people who like this site and support it as a this tiny, obscure magic society. Perhaps what I could do to anyone who distributes a bootleg copy of the book is to kick them out of our magic society. In that way I get to take something away from them.

Big deal. They won't give a shit.

No, of course not. Why would they?

Then I thought of a nice evil twist on the idea.

Hey, remember a while back when I asked you guys to contribute the names of magicians who were convicted of sex crimes?

So here's what I've done. I've created a new organization called the Global League of Magicians & Mentalists. It's the world's largest magic society and you are all a part of it. Welcome! Anyone with an interest in magic is automatically a member. There are no dues to pay and you don't have to perform so that some no-talents can "evaluate" you to see if you're good enough to get in. You're in.

There are only two mandates in our Code of Ethics. The first is: Don't be a jerk. The second is: Don't be a sex offender. 

So let's say you do something jerky, like...oh... say, selling bootleg copies of a book you didn't write. Well, then you're going to get kicked out of the GLOMM and your name will go on the list on our page of banned members. As of now that list is just sex criminals: pedophile magicians and guys who take secret video of women peeing at the Magic Castle and that sort of thing. If you want to be a jerk and get your name on that list too, knock yourself out. It will be great company to be in if anyone ever googles your name. By the way, it's not two different lists, it's just one list of banned members with no designation as to why they were banned. "The following people have been permanently kicked out of the Global League of Magicians & Mentalists for being perverted sex criminals and/or jerks," the page reads.

Yes, this is some crazy shit. I mean, I guess I could have made the book an ebook with DRM, but that's much less fun.

Honestly, I think it will be a non-issue. I think everyone who has purchased the book has this site and the other purchaser's best interest at heart. And if not, I look forward to hiring someone who knows SEO to make your entry on the GLOMM list one of the top results for people looking for your name. 

You might think I'll wield this list viciously and put anyone I don't like on it, but that's not true. It doesn't matter if I don't like you, or if you don't like me or this site. I have no issue with that. In fact, Steve Brooks is a member in good standing of the GLOMM. Everyone has a clean slate. Only true jerks (and true sex criminals) will be on the list. 

You can visit the new site at www.theglomm.com. I'm happy to welcome all you new members. 

There is a membership kit you can purchase as well. Your support there is funneled back into this site resulting in more content, more foolishness, more happiness. And you'll look dope as hell in your GLOMM t-shirt at your next magic meeting or convention. I want to see picture of these shirts showing up at MAGIC Live and FISM. That would be the best. 

That's the other part about this that I find very satisfying. I mentioned above about wanting to create some kind of loose "organization" for people who enjoy this site. This is a group that really only I get to see through my email correspondence with you. And that's what the Global League of Magicians and Mentalists is: a hyper-niche group of magicians masquerading as the world's largest magic organization. 

Something for the Weekend

Writing a book is no fun. I don't recommend it. But there is one enjoyable part and that's watching the illustrations come in. If I do another book it will be illustrations only. 

Reference photo and illustration from the effect A Very Unusual Camera in The Jerx, Volume 1.

If you are into Tarot cards at all, I want to direct your attention to a deck that is available that is really a part of The Jerx extended family. It was originally commissioned by AC Costello who is handling the financial and distribution aspects of the upcoming book and shoots much of the video for this site as well. And it was designed and painted by Stasia Burrington, who is doing the illustrations for The Jerx, Volume 1.

Check it out in her etsy store. I don't know how many are available so don't sleep on it if you're interested. Support good people. Tell her Andy sent you.

A few of the original hand-painted cards.

I will be giving away a copy of the deck to the winner of the "Judge's Prize" for the #erdnaseblows contest. (One person will win the contest randomly and get their book money refunded. The "judge's prize" is my bonus award for my favorite video.)

In the end, 8 people destroyed their copy of Erdnase. A couple of the videos are below, you can find the rest on my Twitter.

Off topic, I have a movie recommendation. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping was one of the funnier movies I've seen in the last few years. Check it out if you dig the Lonely Island at all. If not go see Me Before You, you little pansy.

And finally, while I'm doing youtube links, here's the inspiration for today's post title: Something for the Weekend by the Divine Comedy. One of my favorites in the all-too-rare genre of songs with twist endings.

Keep A Light Up In Your Window

Daddy's coming home soon.

Regular posting resumes next week when the next post in the Project Slay-Them series appears and the mystery of what the GLOMM is will be revealed. 

So psyched to be holding the first proof copy of my new book!

Shit... that's the box my Taco Bell quesadilla came in. I was confused because -- much like my book -- the contents were so delicious.

So far no one has destroyed their copies of Erdnase. Although I did receive a number of emails about the subject, which fell into one of three categories.

1. "Are you serious about that contest?" Yes! I'm always serious about everything. Wait... no... that's obviously not true. But whenever I'm talking about anything transactional between us then I'm always being serious.

2. "I'd like to destroy my copy, but I already sold it/got rid of it. I thought I was the only one that didn't like it." Well, you're not. Give me someone who bases their magic on that book compared to someone who bases it on the Klutz Book of Magic, and I'll take the latter every time. KBOM > EATCT.

3. A couple of people wrote to ask if they could do it anonymously because they were worried about dealing with the fallout from Erdnase fanboys. No, you can't do it anonymously. Look, no one is really going to get upset because you destroy a copy of Expert At the Card Table. No one takes this stuff seriously. I don't even take it seriously and I'm the one pretending to give a shit about that book one way or the other! And really, what's the worst thing that would happen? Some crater-faced virgin comes and kills you and rapes your corpse because you burned a copy of EATCT? Ok, well, that actually would be pretty bad. But, to be fair, he raped you after you died. And it's just not going to happen anyways. On the off chance it does, you'd be immortalized. Like in some book about the dumbest things that ever got someone killed or something.

Well, at any rate, you still have a little while to get your video in. I have a feeling someone will sneak in at the last minute and win their $260 back with no competition. Good for them. 

Beyond that, thanks to those of you who have picked up the book in recent days. It means a lot.